{ Dead Man's Pipes } Specializing in estate smoking pipes

Why should I smoke a used pipe? Isn't it like using someone else's toothbrush?		Mostly because it's the most inexpensive way to get a good pipe, and no, it isn't. The beauty of an estate pipe is this: someone out there has gone to the trouble of selecting this pipe, breaking it in, enjoying it and taking care of it over the years. Maybe that person has passed on; maybe that person is just thinning out their collection. But now, it's your turn. Pipes are made to be heirlooms; if they're taken care of they can last for generations. A good, new pipe will usually cost upwards of $50, and if you smoke often (more than once a week) you really should have more than one, as a briar pipe needs time to rest between smokes. So you can see that it could get pretty expensive pretty quickly. The risk of buying an estate pipe is that there's no real guarantee that you'll get a good smoking pipe (though I do my best to make sure that every pipe I sell is in great smoking condition). It's not like using someone else's toothbrush, unless it's a really nice handcrafted toothbrush that might be 50 or 100 years old, and has been thoroughly cleaned, sterilized, sweetened, and lovingly polished. Incidentally, when you go out to a nice restaurant, do you ever think about how many other mouths your fork has been in? Gotcha.

How do you sterilize and recondition the pipes you sell?		First, I take all the stems and soak them in cleaning solution - might be pipe bath, alcohol, or bleach. I ream out the bowl to remove any overbuildup of carbon cake, then perform a special treatment that removes much of the flavor of the previous owner's tobacco. Once that's done, I clean everything out with pipe cleaners and brushes, buff any char from the bowl rim, buff any oxidation from the stem, polish everything and buff it again. I finish up with Briar Pipe Wipe to get everything gloriously shiny.

Which shape should I get? What does shape have to do with the smoking experience?		That's totally up to you. First and foremost, get a pipe you like the look of. Some people dig the straights; some people (like me) favor the bent styles. If you like your pipe, you will probably enjoy smoking it. Most shape effects are cosmetic (since the bowl is generally the same shape inside) with two major caveats: the thicker the walls, the cooler your hand; the longer the stem, the cooler the smoke by the time it gets to your mouth.

What kind of tobacco will I like?		That's a much bigger question than you might think, and someday I'm going to write a primer on it. My best advice is to find a good tobacconist who has bulk pipe tobacco, and smell all the different kinds. Buy what you think smells good. For now, here are a few things to know: 1. Aromatics: usually contain burley, cavendishes and 'casing' (flavoring), and may also have a little virginia. Aromatics are the good-smelling tobaccos that remind you of your Grandfather. They're a good place to start. Some people move from aromatics to virginias and to english blends as soon as possible; others never stop with the aromatics. I'm a die hard aromatics guy. I like mixed fruity drinks and soda pop and coffee with cream and sugar. You can find many different versions, some really pungent, some not so much; but keep in mind that the way it smells does not always equate to the way it tastes. One more thing: aromatics are the ones to smoke if you want to impress the people around you. 2. Virginias: usually contain, well, Virginia tobacco, often with some perique. Virginias remind me of campfires. They have a natural sweetness to them, but no added flavor. I equate them with beer and coffee with cream but no sugar. Sometimes there's some perique in there, which is a spicy tobacco from Louisiana, I believe. 3. English Blends: contain Virginias and Latakia, among other things. Latakia (pronounced latta-KEE-a) is a smoke-cured tobacco, often from Syria or Cyprus. To me it smells like a spice rack or indian leather. This is the hard stuff - like whiskey or black coffee.

Why don't you sell tobacco?		Simple and sad, really: Washington State levies a 130% tax on wholesale tobacco for retailers. The markup on tobacco is only 100%. That means that in order to sell you tobacco that should cost you $2 an ounce, my cost on that tobacco between wholesale price and taxes and shipping will be close to $2.50. So in order to make a profit at all, I'd have to inflate my tobacco prices, making me unable to be competitive with other internet merchants. So... there you go.

I heard all about the Master Settlement Agreement and how Big Tobacco was putting nasty crap in their tobacco. Does that affect pipe tobacco as well?		As far as I can tell, it doesn't. First, the smaller tobacco companies that blend their tobaccos are by and large sticklers for purity, and I'm sure most of them wouldn't be caught dead putting stuff like ammonia and formaldehyde in their tobaccos. Second, if you're looking for very pure pipe tobacco with no additives, you can find it fairly easily. One Big Tobacco company has an online guide to their pipe tobacco additives, and I haven't seen anything remotely dangerous on their list. The MSA does affect pipe tobacco in a way, though: in their attempts to punish Big Tobacco, the government is unable to avoid hitting tobacco companies as a whole. Many states levy significant tobacco taxes. So while the connections between Big Tobacco and pipe tobacco seem to be insignificant, we still pay somewhat for Big Toby's indiscretions. I found out recently that Big Tobacco does make a particular brand of pipe tobacco that's used in a wide variety of store blends called 1Q. Also, drugstore brands like Captain Black and Sir Walter Raleigh are made by Big Toby. If you want to avoid Big Tobacco altogether, ask your tobacconist what's in his blends and who makes it.

What about the health risks of pipe smoking?

Of the four tobacco options (cigarettes, cigars, chew and pipes) pipe smoking is the least risky by far. Here's why:

Cigarettes have had all sorts of crap added to them by Big Tobacco to make them more addictive, preserve them, etc. etc. etc. Most of these additives are known carcinogens (such as ammonia and formaldehyde). Also, it involves inhaling the smoke into the lungs, where it (a) messes up your lungs, and (b) gets immediately into the bloodstream and messes with your heart. It's well proven that regular cigarette smoking leads to death. It killed my father.
Cigars are a better choice since they aren't inhaled, and aren't chemically engineered by Big Tobacco. The downside of cigars is that you go through a lot of tobacco, and it's in physical contact with your lips, which can result in cancers of the mouth.
Chew (aka smokeless tobacco) carries that physical contact issue to its logical conclusion, and has an even greater risk of cancers of the mouth. Some cheap chews even lace their tobacco with fiberglas particles which lacerate your gums so that the tobacco gets into your bloodstream more efficiently.
Pipe smoking still carries cancer risks - don't get me wrong - but those risks are mitigated somewhat because of the lack of physical contact with the tobacco. Also, the amount of tobacco consumed is relatively small compared to a cigar. However, tobacco smoke is still brought into the mouth, and pipe smokers often congregate, which of course results in second-hand smoke exposure.

If you have concerns or convictions about these risks, it's better to not start using tobacco at all. Even pipe smoking can be addictive, and carries health risks. The more you smoke, the worse the risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.